She wept desperately, screaming at the top of her voice: ”WHY?!!” Her mind spun in circles, she could not fathom what had just happened. The torture of losing him. This was just a bad dream! Pacing back and forth, trembling, her being gives in and she falls to the floor. In agony she asks quietly: ”Why my dad, Lord? Why my dad? Why now?”
The excruciating pain of losing her father weighed heavily upon her. As she grew a little older, she would celebrate his birthdays and repel the memories of the day he died.
Enraged because she no longer remembered his voice, the smell of his skin, the feeling of his mighty daddy arms holding her tight. Where did it all go? Why could she no longer remember? Things she wished she had said, things she wished she had done … are all in vain now. He was gone.
Psalm 56:8 – ”You number my wanderings; Put my tears into your bottle; Are they not in Your book?”
Misery engulfing her as she tormented herself wondering – what if, what if he had not died. If he was still here, would I be safe? Would I be happy? Would he have provided for me, all the things I need from a dad? What about my mom, would she be better? My sisters, would they safe and sound?
Days passed by, even years … everything seemed to deteriorate. She went on travels and ventured into far off places. The ocean became her familiar friend.
But there was a particular day, a day He set apart for this precious daughter – it was the day that the Lord engraved His seal upon her and took her for Himself.
He said: ”Precious daughter, I want you for myself. I am so very sorry for your loss, I know this loss all to well. I watched my son die on the cross. But I took comfort knowing that We suffered through this death – for you! It was all for you. You are that precious to me. To call you my daughter is the highest honor I could have hoped for. Let me be your Father, agree with my plans for you. Come under my wing, come lie in my arms. I want to be there for you every minute of everyday. I will never betray your heart. I will supply your every need. I am Abba Father, the creator of daddy’s. Let me show you how much I love you. Only be still and know that I am God. Your redeemer. I brought you out, I chose you from among men. I had my eye on you from the very beginning. Allow me to bind up your wounds and to care for your family. This is not your duty. Let go, give it all to me. Please. Please dearest sweet darling of mine. Come to me. I am here. I love you, I love you more than words can describe. I love you with every fiber of my being. I love you!”